chillout

Once love is born, it retains its place. The love I gave to Scott and received from him, and the love I have exchanged with so many women and men I have known, continues to vibrate in this world without ceasing.

A web of love stretches across the earth. Finely glowing threads form a net that reaches from one end of the world to the other. There are so many strings of love in this world, and love is unfolding between so many people. To participate in love and to give love is the greatest reward of life. Love has no end; it seems to continue forever, endlessly.

From Helen Nearing’s writings

There is no thing that dying, dies forever:

Nothing is so forespent

But it may somehow finally recapture

That first content,

Wrought of the frail and protoplasmic splendor

Of element.

There is no song, once sung, made still forever:

Never such hush profound

But somewhere in the fibers of creation

Under the ground

And over the light of stars in the summer heavens

Makes cosmic sound.

There is no love, once told, that dies completely:

Never such love has grown

But scatters seed producing in its likeness

From zone to zone:

Shaping the destiny of men and angels

poet unknown

From Loving and leaving the good life

What is possession?

It is the act of meditating on the law of the Lord, day and night.

This meditation becomes a boundary, a sanctuary that defines what is truly mine.

The source of all love and truth lies in the Lord’s love and His law.

To truly possess someone is to have embodied that love and law,

thereby becoming a sacred boundary in which that person can reside.

Flower

Written by Kim Chun-su

Before I called his name,

He was nothing more than

A mere gesture.

When I called his name,

He came to me

And became a flower.

Just as I called his name,

Someone, please call my name

That fits these colors and scent of mine.

I want to go to him

And become his flower as well.

We all

Wish to become something.

You to me, and I to you,

We wish to become an unforgettable gaze to each other.

No matter how much I may forget,

It has always remained within me in some form.

It was my identity.

He was a foreigner,

and I have become someone in whom a foreign identity is deeply ingrained.

The reason I have never fully belonged to this society

is that this love has become my very essence.

I didn’t decide on love. I just let it be. But I feel the power of it. So now, I have decided to love.

​

I had chosen the way of living for the body. It was the dessert of the soul. I had chosen the fake oasis. I lost myself.

​

I remembered our dreams that we shared. I had lost it. One day, the dream came to my mind. And that single memory changed everything.

​

Psalms 1:1 – 1:6

Blessed is the man who has not followed the counsel of the impious, and has not remained in the way of sinners, and has not sat in the chair of pestilence.

 But his will is with the law of the Lord, and he will meditate on his law, day and night.

 And he will be like a tree that has been planted beside running waters, which will provide its fruit in its time, and its leaf will not fall away, and all things whatsoever that he does will prosper.

 Not so the impious, not so. For they are like the dust that the wind casts along the face of the earth.

 Therefore, the impious will not prevail again in judgment, nor sinners in the council of the just.

 For the Lord knows the way of the just. And the path of the impious will pass away.

Choosing what to love inherently defines what to hate and cast aside.

To love everything is to fail at loving what truly matters.

A clear day awaits.

Greeting the dawn mist on the porch, I put on my shoes.

Pushing open the cold iron gate,

my warm breath rising from flushed cheeks

spreads into the layers of sunlight through the fog.

I walked along the Yeongildae seaside path.

The water flowing within the breakwater was crystal clear.

The sound of water splashing against the rocks—clink, sparkle, clink.

That sound made me look down.

It felt as if the sunlight and the water were speaking to me: “Look at this small, clear moment.”

Farm Table Cafe at Yeongildae.

Sunlight streaming onto the warm wood— this is exactly the kind of interior I love.

Reflections 1

In the face of hardship, my heart had to choose between good and evil.

“Good” meant steering myself toward a positive path, while “evil” meant letting myself be swept away by that very hardship and the darkness within.

My greatest vulnerability has always been related to my parents.

Because those wounds remained unresolved for so long, they began to grow into a shadow within me.

But in the end, I realized: this is the life task I must overcome.

Reflections 2

When I work, there is a certain sense of “connection.”

When I focus deeply and think seriously, it feels as if my energy begins to resonate, creating something meaningful.

It’s when I feel this connection that things truly go well.

But then, there is something that tries to replace that feeling.

It’s the mindset of relying on a lucky draw, hoping for a fluke.

It’s that feeling of wanting the result without the effort or the serious contemplation—expecting a reward simply because I “spent some time” on it.

I must not let a lucky draw replace that genuine connection.

I will protect my heart.

Reflections 3

Areas that require training: understanding my internal rhythm and learning how to manage the direction of my soul.

Professor Adam Tooze said that this is a domain that can be trained, much like mastering a musical instrument or an athletic skill.

To start, I will focus on how I use my calendar.

I’ve decided to get rid of my To-do lists.

They seem to drain my energy.

Instead, I will mark deadlines on my calendar and list my priorities.

I will also write down the key ideas and essential questions I have regarding each task.

…

When we live through long seasons of peace, we fall into the illusion that human beings are inherently good.
When we endure long seasons of hardship, we fall into the illusion that human beings are inherently evil.

In peaceful times, white roses bloom.
In difficult times, red roses bloom.

I want to blend them all together —
and become a pink rose.

The world is half good and half evil.
And that evil is subtle and meticulous —
so cunning that we are almost destined to fall before it.

That same darkness exists within me, too.

To fall to evil is part of life,
and to rise again is also part of life.

Let us live with Jerusalem within us — not heaven, but Jerusalem.
I choose to live not in heaven, but in Jerusalem.

Jerusalem has known endless wars,
and yet it still carries traces of heaven.

Let us be a lotus blooming from the mud.
The impurity of the world, the impurity within my own character —
acknowledging them, yet still holding the will
to become a more beautiful human being.

That will is what will make the flower bloom.